So, we've been through the divisiveness of the modern age, different types of climate change denial, tips on how to approach a debate with someone you disagree with, and touched on the fact that Mrs Brown's Boys is shit.
Now you and I are going to delve into some common arguments put forward by climate deniers, and suggested responses that will, hopefully, leave both parties, maybe not in full agreement by the end, but with an absence of lawnmowers being stolen and no one being called a colossal idiot because of their viewpoint.
Let us begin.
INT: THE DINING ROOM AT YOUR PARENTS’ HOUSE - EARLY EVENING
Uncle: ‘So, what do you think about this climate change malarkey? A load of rubbish propaganda if you ask me.’
You: ‘Yeah, it's a tricky one because HOW COULD I EVER BE RELATED TO SOMEONE SO STUPID? ARE YOU A SCIENTIST? DO YOU KNOW MORE THAN ACTUAL SCIENTISTS?? THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD WHO ARE DYING BECAUSE OF CLIMATE CHANGE YOU INSENSITIVE IDIOT.’
Uncle: ‘ME, STUPID?! YOU'RE THE STUPID ONE! YOU'RE THE ONE BEING DUPED BY THE GOVERNMENT YOU ONE-BRAIN CELLED SHEEP! AND YOU SPILLED GRAVY DOWN YOUR TOP 45 MINUTES AGO, YOU DISGUSTING PLEB!’
Director: CUT! Terrible, guys. Really just awful. Let's do another take using Argument One. Okay, rolling, and action.
Uncle: ‘Climate change is natural, it’s happened since the dawn of time.’
You: *Note: Passive/Dismissive Denier*
‘You're right, the Earth has naturally been heating up and cooling down for millions of years and will carry on doing so. I think the problem now is the rate and scale at which climate change is happening. Humans weren't around burning mass amounts of fossil fuels on top of the world's natural warming and cooling in the past. But nowadays we rely so heavily on coal, wood, oil, and gas it's made the rate of climate change too fast. But the onus of that isn't solely on you or me. Fossil fuels have been sold to us for years as a normal and easy way of life, and now it's like we're being told “STOP LIVING THE WAY YOU'RE LIVING, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG, IT'S YOUR FAULT THE POLAR BEARS ARE DROWNING IN A SEA OF PLASTIC COCA COLA BOTTLES.” It's frustrating feeling like we have to clean up a mess we never intentionally created. The various solutions - wind farms, hydro power, tidal energy, solar panels to name but a few - aren’t perfect but there are plenty of different ones and if we wait for completely faultless solutions, we’ll be waiting forever.
Director: CUT. Great work everybody. Moving onto Argument Two now, aaaaannnndddd.... ACTION.
Uncle: ‘But there’s no consistent scientific evidence that climate change is real or that humans are causing it.’
You: *Note: Passive/Dismissive Denier*
‘Yeah, you're right, information does seem inconsistent, but I don't think it's the scientific data that's inconsistent, I think that could be more of what's being told to us by politicians. Climate change is a massive voting topic, so politicians understandably use it as a political tool, but it means their stance on climate change can swing depending on which group they can get more votes from. Same applies if they're getting backing from companies contributing to climate change for their political campaign. It's easy for them to dismiss scientific evidence and make that seem legitimate because we're supposed to trust our politicians. I think if we're questioning scientists, we should extend that questioning to our politicians’ motives.’
Director: And we're leap-frogging straight into Argument Three now, everyone on the same page? Good, and GO.
Uncle: ‘Yeah, well climate change doesn't affect me.’
You: *Note: Passive/Dismissive Denier*
‘Yeah, I think we're quite lucky to live where we live. I think the irony with climate change is that the majority of people being impacted by it are the ones who add to it the least. Even if climate change isn’t currently directly impacting us, we can still open our eyes to it. Everyone loves an empathetic person. Imagine people saying at your funeral how empathetic you were. That's what people will remember about you, as well as your hilarious ties. Even if you did something tiny to reduce your energy usage, you'd be helping. I usually overfill the kettle, but if I just filled it for however many people are actually having tea I save energy and am doing something positive. Empathetic, energy (and cost) saving, excellent tea maker, hilarious ties. Who could ask for better words said about them at their funeral?’
Director: I'm loving this energy guys! Onto Argument Four.
Uncle: ‘There's nothing we can do about it at this point.’
You: *Note: Climate Doomer*
‘I don't really want to use data, but I'm going to here in the hope that it can be reassuring. Remember the hole in the ozone layer? It was trending in the 80s and 90s alongside shell suits and Banarama. (The ozone layer is the thing protecting Earth from the Sun so we don't all get fried like bacon). Well, good news! In 1987, 56 countries agreed to cut CFC production and use in half. In the years that followed, the protocol led to the eventual worldwide phaseout of the production of CFCs and other ozone depleting chemicals. The hole then shrunk loads and is en route to being fully healed by 2050. So, there's your proof that there is hope. The Earth is an impressive thing, it can mend itself easily, it has been doing for millions of years. We just have to give it a chance to. And we can start small.’
Director: BRING IT HOME GUYS.
Uncle: ‘Well none of this matters because actually it's all a hoax put in place by government to try and control us.’
You: *Note: Conspiracy Denier*
‘I think world governments do a lot of things behind the scenes that might not be in our best interests. Can you tell me more about your theory?’
(With this one, sometimes it's better to just know when to pick your battles. Asking them to elaborate on their theory could make for a great screenplay that could end up making you millions.)
Director: AND CUT. Superb work everybody! Oscar nominations all around! Afterparty at Elton John's place!
The main thing to remember is that these conversations are difficult, so go easy on yourself and the other person. If you’ve both got a good sense of humour, that’ll help. Broaching heavy topics with humour always helps.
Plus, your relationship shouldn't rely solely on agreeing about climate change. It's important and admirable to open up the conversation about climate action, however, agreeing to respectfully disagree doesn't need to be a fail. Pushing people further apart and creating more animosity is a fail.
Going into these sorts of discussions with a mouth full of stats, or attacking someone's character because of their values isn't going to suddenly make them view climate change differently. It's just going to solidify their own theories as being true. Remember, for years people have been sold a way of life - relying on coal, gas, and oil - that they've been told is okay. Suddenly being shouted at for living life in a way you thought was normal and okay is confusing. It's annoying feeling like you're being blamed for something you didn't realise was a problem. With all this, on top of being preached at and told to switch to climate-friendly things you can't afford, it's no wonder people get their backs up.
There are common enemies: big corporations, who no doubt relish in the distraction of people fighting each other instead of focusing on them, and, of course, global warming itself, but our enemies shouldn't be in each other. At the end of the day, all people want is to be able to have a family gathering that doesn't result in a Capulet-Montague outcome. If all else fails, just keep doing your part, avoid any dining room mention of climate change and get out Monopoly instead.