Self-service tills can be something of a blessing and a curse.

Media Isle of Man reporter James Campbell takes tongue-in-cheek look at the mini-drama tackling the self-service tills at Marks and Spencer.

I’ll admit from the outset this is a very first-world problem and much of what I have to say is rather bombastic.

But I hope people will recognise some of the issues I face when heading to the self-service tills at M&S, or any self-service station in any supermarket to be honest.

If it is busy and as it gets closer to your turn, I am already trying to observe which tills may become vacant in a bid to reach it before the staff member points it out.

I get this odd sense of victory whenever I spot the free till before the staff member. It is my own mini-game and it keeps me amused even if my fellow player knows nothing about it.

Much of the trauma – I use that word flippantly – of the self-service till experience only comes when it is busy. If it is quiet you just breeze in and out quickly. But during the festive season that stress dial is turned to 10.

Once you are at the till the drama continues. The scanners are so inconsistent. One moment I try to scan an item a dozen times without success while on other occasions the till beeps before I even have the item out of the basket.

It is always when I am rather irate and going somewhat red in the face that I look up and see the view the camera as of me. I shrink in horror!

Anyone who ends up in court for shoplifting at self-service will receive punishment enough if that video evidence has to be used in court.

It also seems we have the blinkers on when we head to the tills and clock no one.

Once, I was busy scanning my items - or trying to – when I heard this dad trying to keep his young daughter in check. I thought ‘poor man’ only to turn around and realise it was my nephew and his daughter!

The biggest self-service crime comes from those customers who sneak on to an end till without queuing. M&S should install stocks so we could throw rotten fruit at such offenders!

The volume of each till also differs wildly. Some bellow out the instructions and beeps at an intimidatingly loud level while others whisper apologetically.

I will say, on the plus side, the unexpected item in baggage area annoyance seems to be a thing of the past from my experience although some lighter items still do not always register.

Also, the staff that monitor the self-serve tills are generally very friendly and efficient, something of a godsend during the busiest times.

When I finally leave there is this odd sense of relief but I know I will have to go through it all again soon. One day I will go old school and head to the normal tills and wait behind the couple with a trolley full of a month’s worth of shopping.